I'll be okay

I have to be, I want to be, I can deal with it if I just take it easy. And if I don't move too suddenly. Yeah, that might be difficult on a loose surface climb, but...word from my navigator extraordinaire is that  the next few days may not be so tough? Let's hope so. Long slow climbing, torso in controled alignment, bum up over bumps --I can do that. I can keep my breathing easy if I concentrate and get to the big breaths in steps. The contortions to get on and off the bike might be problematic, or the counterpressure if I'm starting out on a hill with the load, but I can work around that. I will.

Sleeping the last two nights has been... Not that bad, really. I have two good positions and if I move carefully, I can avoid the sharp pangs. 

I stopped briefly (well, actually just happened upon it as we were taking a short, easy 5-mile trial ride sans panniers today) at a clinic near the main lodge in the park (Jackson Lake Lodge), but... really, do I want to hear what the doc has to say? If, as I think, a rib(s) is cracked...he'd just tell me, he'd have to tell me, to not continue on the ride, right? And beyond that, there's not much that can be done for a broken rib besides wait (a month or two?!) for it to heal itself... 

A 31 mile day tomorrow, ending with doable climb at the end to camp near Togwotee Mt. Lodge. A 40 mile climb the next day, with CD7 over Togwotee Pass. A 41 mile day from Warm Spring CG to Whiskey Grove, CG including another CD crossing over Union Pass. Then an easy 35 on Sunday into the town of Pinedale, WY, where a B&B, a brewpub, and our 2nd supply package of coffee, vitamin powder, lasagne, oats, protein bars awaits. (I confirmed--it's there!)

Assuming no wifi the next days, and assuming we'll stay on route (supposedly Paul has escape routes in mind if we get in a pinch), I'll update on Sunday how it all went.

It hurt so bad-- like nothing I've ever felt before (I can't recall the pain from giving birth to Finnian). I really thought maybe I'd poked a hole in my heart, the pain was so sharp! Was a gonna bite it there and then? I was so out of anything I knew: my voice couldn't come out right, I felt wobbly, my arm felt broken (turns out it's really okay, and now moves easily, just scratched), and I really wondered, shit, what did I do to myself? So scared. My Paul was amazing-- a voice of calm and knowledge, but also advice of necessary concern. 

And last night, the overall pain off the fall-- on my entire left side-- set in. But, hell-- I'm always dealing with bruises. What's a few more? (Thank goodness the hip bruise is not on the side I have to sleep on.) Sometimes I feel it anew, if I move just right, the sharp pains under and to the side of my left breast. But on the other hand, if I move just the other right, I'm kinda fine!

I'm thinking positive, banking on these past two solid days of real rest. It's been beautiful here in Grand Teton-- sunshine, lake lounging, working, eating well, looking at pics, walking about, staring at the mountains, canoes and sailboats and floating logs with balancing children atop, washing clothes... Easy mellow stuff in an awesome setting. 

I'll be okay! I gotta, wanna, be.